Substitute Driver's Notes

Chapter 11 It's Terrible to Be Ignorant

"Waaaaah... Why is my life so miserable?" The old man cried, burying his face in his hands.

"Oh my god, why are you crying? I came all this way to see you, what are you crying about? Alright, alright, I'll burn paper money for you when you die in a few years, is that alright?"

The old man stopped crying and sat up abruptly: "It's settled then. This piece of paper is yours. Take it and consider it a deposit."

"Pah! I don't want this junk. My wife will definitely scold me if I take it home, and she'll burn it in a minute. It's like sending it to the underworld ahead of time. You can keep it as a keepsake!"

The old man grew anxious: "You don't want it? I have nothing else to give you. What if you go back on your word?"

Li Wei patted his chest heartily: "A man's word is his bond, and I always keep my promises."

After chatting idly for a while, Li Wei offered to cook, preparing a pot of stew. He lit the earthen stove, watched the smoke rise, picked up the paper again, and muttered to the old man:

"Old man, this piece of rubbish is definitely not valuable. Look at what's written on it: 'The foolish Duke Zhao Ji remotely congratulates the patron...' What's this character?... Oh! It's pronounced 'Sheng,' meaning 'Paying respects to the patron on his birthday.'"

"Do you know what a 'sugar daddy' is? A big business owner is called a 'sugar daddy.' This 'tyrant Zhao Ji' must have been broke, so he found a big business owner, flattered him, and planned to swindle some money from him. That's a common tactic! It shows that swindlers have existed since ancient times."

"That's why you uneducated people are so scary. Your old man could have just asked anyone who could read to look at it, and he would have thrown it away long ago. Why would you keep it as a treasure? Pshaw! You think this is a family heirloom?"

"Sigh! Your old man is really stupid! He actually believed what that foreigner said? He wants money! We work hard to earn money to support our families, what do we need this junk for? Can it be eaten? If it were me, I would have smeared this piece of paper on his face and made sure he got his wages."

"Waaah," the old man cried sadly, "No one in our family has ever been to school, who knew that foreign devil would be so wicked."

"According to the old man, after working for more than ten days, the interpreter promised to pay two taels of silver, but after finishing the job, he couldn't find the interpreter anymore. In return, he received some kind of silver dollar, which was not even enough."

"The old man wanted silver from the Qing Dynasty, but they just kept saying 'What the hell?' and after all that talk, they gave him this piece of rubbish. What a rip-off!"

Li Wei sighed and comforted him, "Don't be sad. It's normal for ordinary people like us to get ripped off! Look at me, I'm educated, so it's different. Most people can't rip me off. Unless that foreigner produces the paintings and calligraphy I know, I'll demand my money, and if he doesn't give it to me, I'll sue him."

The old man said with a mixture of envy and admiration, "Yes! Society is better now, and you can all go to school. If my old man had your knowledge, he would never have been taken advantage of by those foreign devils."

Li Wei said smugly, "That's right. Although I never do my homework because I practice martial arts, I'm still third in the class, which is very consistent."

"Then why didn't you go to high school?"

"That old man's asking for trouble, isn't he? My dad won't let him go."

"When I went to the market in Lijiazhuang that year, your father, Li Meng, said that your middle school entrance exam score was only a little over 100 points."

Li Wei crumpled the tattered piece of paper, tossed it under the stove, and watched as the flames ignited.

He sighed deeply.

"I got into a fight with my homeroom teacher in the first year of junior high and beat him up so badly that he looked like a panda. My dad apologized to him, but he still keeps targeting me."

"I felt that studying was not very useful, so I skipped school and caused trouble, resolutely refusing to study."

"Who knew that not studying would lead to this? Not only do I not have a good job, but when I do the same job, people with higher education levels get promoted while I have to stand aside."

"So I stopped letting my son practice martial arts and let him focus on his studies. He has to get into university no matter what, so I won't have to worry about him not finding a good job in the future."

The two chatted idly for a while. Li Wei waited for the stew to be ready, then served the old man and himself bowls and ate with the old man.

After clearing away the dishes, Li Wei comforted the old man, "I'm going back now. Seeing that you're in good health, I'm relieved. Don't worry about what will happen after you're gone. Why think so much? Just live one day at a time."

The old man gritted his teeth and said, "Li Wei, this worthless paper is nothing to burn. I still have those two silver dollars I mentioned. I'll give them to you. You can exchange them for money, and when I die, burn paper money for me and offer sacrifices at my grave during festivals."

"No need, you can keep it for your coffin! Burning paper money won't cost much, and I won't go back on my word."

The old man wouldn't have it, he grabbed Li Wei and wouldn't let him leave, crawled under the bed and pulled out a tattered plastic bag, opened it up layer by layer, took out two silver dollars, and insisted on handing them to Li Wei.

After much refusing, Li Wei couldn't bear to see the old man upset, so he had no choice but to accept the gift and take his leave to go home.

Not long after leaving home, Li Wei, in high spirits, rode his motorcycle home, humming a little tune.

Upon entering, I greeted Lu Lili with a warm hug and recounted the events of the morning in a boastful tone.

He proudly showed his wife two silver dollars.

Lu Lili stared blankly at Li Wei, her voice trembling, "Husband, you're saying that tattered piece of paper was written by the foolish Emperor Huizong of Tang (Zhao Ji)? And given to Jin Zhusheng?"

"Yeah! He was some nobody conman. I was afraid you'd be angry if I brought it home, so I burned it. This stuff is much better; it's made of foreign silver, definitely worth more than a Yuan Shikai silver dollar. You complained that I can make friends with just anyone, but you didn't expect this old man to be so shrewd."

Lu Lili said in a low voice, "Li Wei, have you ever heard of picking up sesame seeds and losing a watermelon?"

"Hey! Lili, something's not right with you. Who's this idiot these days? Everyone knows a sesame seed is small, but a watermelon is big; you can see the big watermelon just by looking at it!"

Lu Lili smiled sadly: "There are so many fools like this. I can't believe I just found out that I married one of them."

Suddenly, Lu Lili went berserk, grabbing Li Wei's waist and pulling and cursing through gritted teeth: "My big house, beautiful clothes and cosmetics, my son and daughter, my parents' happy life, everything, you idiot, burned it all to the ground!"

"Ouch, Lu Lili, let go! It hurts! You rude old woman, if you don't let go I'll hit you!"

Lu Lili released her grip and slumped to the ground, sobbing, "Waaah... Just kill me already, I don't want to live anymore. What do you know? A piece of calligraphy that has never been recorded in history, do you know its value? Jin Zhusheng, that's Wanyan Wuqimai."

Li Wei rubbed the soft flesh on his waist and asked with a forced smile, "Lili, what kind of business does Wu Qimai run?"

Lu Lili shook her head in despair: "I should have divorced you the moment you mispronounced 'tiger eyeing' as 'tiger eyeing deep'. It's terrifying how uneducated you are."

Li Wei was furious. She wanted a divorce just because she mispronounced a word? This woman must be crazy to be allowed to climb on the roof if she's not disciplined for three days! How dare she say I'm uneducated?

My classmate is famous for his name, but I didn't laugh at him. Can't you have a little compassion?

Besides, didn't I get two silver dollars back? That old hag is insatiable. I don't believe that two silver dollars are worth less than a piece of scrap paper with writing on it. She must have been preoccupied last night and didn't serve me well. She's just using this as an excuse to pick a fight with me.